Of Engagement rings and deadly weapons..

I'm not quite sure what the current trend on engagement rings is outside of the Garden Level (ie. basement) of the PT building but it seems like the rings are getting bigger and BIGGER with each new proposal.. So here's my take on it.

I think that there are criteria you need to meet for the size of ring you choose - the more you work out, the bigger the ring. Hey, you see those sparkly boulders and you'll know what I'm talking about... oh yeah.. pump some iron with those fingers .. a few hundred planks on the left finger... get all this done and you'll be in good shape to endure the weight of you new piece of jewellery!!!

When I say BIG/GIANORMOUS/GIGANTIC/COLOSSAL.. this is what I mean.. and this is the trend now in the "Garden Level" of the Program in Physical Therapy!!


Now, I know what you prudent, minimalists out there are thinking.. "what a waste.." but there is quite a multifold purpose to having gianormous accessories..

• These rings are SO bright, you can turn the lights out at night, burn a candle and let the candlelight refract through the ring (by ring I mean DIAMOND). Can you even imagine how much energy you would be saving.. and now if we would only think of a way to generate electricity from these mini solar systems we would have a whole host of very happy environmentalists.
• Speaking of light and refraction... the spark from these 3000 karat diamonds are so bright that you can potentially position your ring in the sunshine and blind your enemies (serves them right for giving you the evil eye... ).
  
• You can punch someone and while injuring the unfortunate person that crossed your path, you can leave a trademark, multi-level, cosmetically appealing pit in their face.
• Oh last... and my favorite and deadliest self defense technique - aim the edges of that ring at the jugular and what do you get..??? A Tiffany & Co style execution!!

Boys, start investing. You see all the long term advantages.. you save on energy, self-defense lessons, and medical bills for yourself coz your girl can now take care of herself - no more jumping in the line of fire to save the fair lady!


P.S. - No need to mention long lasting euphoria and a sudden boost in bedroom extracurriculars. The perks are never ending!!