To Kiss or not to Kiss

There are so many possible scenarios when I think of a boy leaning in expectantly toward the girl to steal his first kiss (or second, or third...) and I constantly wonder what it would be like to actually implement one of these instead of meekly leaning forward yourself and accepting the kiss.

Scenario 1
The guy decently asks the girl if he can kiss her.
Girl: Battameez! Behaya! Ek abla naari ka faayda uthate sharam nahi aati?
*resounding slap*

Scenario 2
The guy decently asks the girl if he can kiss her.
Girl: uhh...ummm actually, I don't know. I mean uhhh see we should not like this all, no? What will my mummy daddy say? Haww no no...I am not like that type of girl ya! What if something happens? (something = pregnancy).

Scenario 3
The guy decently asks the girl if he can kiss her.
Girl: You blind?
Guy: No, why?
Girl: You read English?
Guy: Uhhh...whattt? Ofcourse I do!
Girl: Then read the freaking sign!

"Kissing the client is against our business ethics. Please refrain from doing so or your license will be revoked."

Girl: Aight man...Hurry up.....I don't have all night!
Guy: *yeh kahaaaaannnn aaagaye hum?*

Scenario 4
The guy decently asks the girl if he can kiss her.
Girl: Whaaattt? Hah! So this is what this was all about. The dinner, the gifts, all the smooth talking..chaaa...all you men I say! Perverts!

Scenario 5
This is to inform you that Scenario 5 has been cancelled. The actor for this part has resigned and moved indefinitely to an undisclosed location. Although, I have been given the permission to reveal that he has swung to the other side permanently. Please leave all fan mail, cheques and expensive gifts in drop box below and they shall be delivered to "guy." Thank you!

I have decided to use this tiny plot of mine on the internet to unload some delayed post-teenage angst!

Why do I have to take classes in the summer?
Why doesn't my food stay down in my damn stomach?
Why can't I get an advisor for my project?
Why does my sister choose to play games as opposed to talking to me? My value is seriously depreciating...
Why is my wisdom tooth being dumb?
Why should I care about cocaine in Amsterdam?

Ok I am done...

Sad, very very sad

Few more months to graduation and guess what I am learning. C'mon give it a try!!
I'll tell you - How to add 'suffixes' and 'prefixes' to words. Ohhh ohhh...no that's not the end of it. You are already given credit for doing Anatomy and Physiology and 2 years dogging the doctors at a hospital and then AFTER that you learn how "build" medical words!!!

RIDDAMNDICULOUS!!
These freaking Yanks in all their 'whiteness' don't have any grey matter...Because it's all white terrain! Although, they wouldn't really MIND having some colour (yes I spelt it with a 'u'..sue me!) coz they believe in equal opportunities...even though that's all in the head.

Back at the Apt. and mindless

I had this amazing thing to write about. It wasn't a story or an experience or anything of that sort but some out of whack, psycho, non-literary babble. But I FORGOT!! That thought was right there on the edge of the fingers...waiting to be typed..(waiting to be read by people who would have twsited me like a pretzel and roasted me after that, but neverthless) and then suddenly I hear the original remix of Taal in full blast and I see those words do one Shaimak Davar number towards the bathroom!!

Offlate I have been confusing myself and alot of other people I have been talking to on YM...I guess this is what happens when you stay at home and sleep more than you stay awake and when you are awake you are tipsy on wine. This is a conversation that I had with one of my friends in Bombay who just got a job in a clinica near her house; she's a Physical Therapist!!

B: Hey guess what I got a job...
Me: (thinking she got a nose job coz she was planning to) Oh cool..when, where?
B: There's this place near my house...10 am : 3 pm
Me: Ohhh does it hurt? And howcome you're back home already?
B: ??? Eliza? Why will my job hurt?
Me: Arrey surgery will hurt no?
B: You fooolll...I have started working in a clinic...I got a job ..not a nose job!!
B: What is wrong with you?
Me: *smacking myself on the head*

Thus, the moral of the story is that a 1 week holiday sans travel is highly detrimental to the mental health of Eliza. Kindly avoid any contact or seemingly intelligent conversation with her. Disregarding this crucial warning will result in suicidal tendencies, murderous itchings of the hand, the desperate need to rotate around the place hopping on one foot.

Help Wanted

Please donate to the "Send Eliza back home" fund!

This is a good cause, I assure you. This is your one time opportunity to help the neglected, dejected, objected, subjected and homesickjected minority in your society.

Bhagwan tumhara bhala karega!!

How do you just forget 9 years of your life?